11:06

today was a little better than yesterday, even though i didn't do a good job with the whole asking thing. just didn't get the chance, or the bals, i hope i didn't screw things up. I'm starting to calm down and breathe again, i think i just had one of those intense weeks where everything happened all at once and i couldn't handle it.
the 85mm 1.8 w/hood is scheduled to be here tomarrow. I'm pretty psyched, that'll be a key lens for shooting bands this summer.
I'm really stuck right now, not knowing where home is. it's an issue i've just had to deal with this weekend for some reason. I couldn't wait for summer a couple weeks ago. while i'm still psyched for it, I love the city and don't know how i'll make it 4 months away. Grantid, i still feel a bit alone up here, but I'm starting to really love where i'm at with my work in school, my photos, everything in general. next summer i deffinately want to take summer classes, at whatever school i'm at.

I guess what i'm saying is i'm ready to be settled in a life. I don't do change very well, and I hate termoil (internal or external), and i'm ready to be done with school, with a job and family. So far my life this year has been one of constant change, and it's hard for me to deal with. I just want people to depend on, which I have plenty of at home but none of up here. I think this is what my big issue was last week into this week. while i'm pretty psyched on someone, i'm equally as psyched on the idea of having someone, a rock if you will, to be around. who knows, it's nice for me to be able to put it into a bit of a perspective though. goodnight.