last day sap...someone had to do it!

I'm 2 hours from leaving, not packed, and not planning on packing for a little while. I can't bring myself to do it, something about empty rooms. I feel sick, I feel sad, it's hard to describe.I'm leaving the place that I love. The place where I finally understood what Zach Braff was talking about in the swimming pool. The place I grew up. And it's rough.

So I feel like I should just type. This whole year seemed to be a journey in getting used to getting used to things, and it'd be nice to doccument it. I was talking to Erin last night and saying I'm so used to meeting new people and getting accepted for who I am at that very moment in time, it's going to be hard being home with so many preconcieved notions of who I am. Being out of the element has become the element, and it's something I've come to enjoy. I'm worried that at home, I'll be so caught up in being a comforting, familiar person that I'll restrict myself in my own growth, which is happening at an amazing rate right now.

But, alas, wouldn't worrying about these things be a bit hypocritical? After all, life's setteled in this strange, day-to-day rate change that keeps me guessing. So why should I worry about similarity? Maybe comfort will be...comforting.

Segwaying into this is something I'm not prepaired for (it's ok, I go to art school). I need to just thank some people i've met over this year, hopefully they'll read this.

Khaki Rae, thank you for....well, I can't even describe it. Without you this year would have been much harder, thank you for being the person I could always go to, with anything. Thank you for making sure that i knew you were always a meal card swipe away, and giving me a place to call home when I felt I didn't belong here. For pumpkin pie in a dorm room and cookies....all the time. Thank you for coming online at exactly the time i need to talk to you about anything, and waiting till i had vented to help me out. For teaching me that sleeping over is always the best remedy, and sharing a bed (while painful at points) can be wonderful. Thank you for giving me something to tear up about as I sit here listening to the Trapeze Swinger, because you know i'm doing it right now. you're an amazing person and i'm honored to have you in my life, no matter what the time difference. next year man....next year.

James, I wish i could be as emotional, haha. I have maybe 3 close guy friends, you can add yourself to that list. For every girl issue that's ever arose, every crazy money making scheme, and ever show we've planned to go see, thank you for befriending me. I feel like I really don't have to write much as this summer'll be like we never left the dorms, but just know it's meant a lot to me.

Mel, I don't know what to say. For all it is, I think you're an amazing person and I wish things didn't have to happen the way they did. But I think everything happens for a reason. I would have enjoyed nothing more than to keep 1002 in tact,but in the end I think we evolved into 10, which isn't necessraily a bad thing. I learned a lot from you, thank you.

To my roomates, I'll put it out there, first semester was rough. But with fake ID's comes a quiet room, and i wouldn't have wanted to room with anyone else. You've all taught me that lifestyle differences should not hinder friendship to any real extent. Garrett- thanks for all our funny, albeit helpfull, conversations. I think that it's nice realizing you have so much in common with someone after initially not trying or caring, and you've been a real comfort to me here.

I don't want to sound like an 8th grade girl writing in yearbooks, but it'd hard to stay away from that. Sitting here, going back, its amazing to see how much i've learned and grown in the past year. I'd like to thank someone else too, but they don't want to be thanked and I understand why, so I'd just like to thank God for putting them in my life and leading me to him. This has just happened, but it's been a years worth of experiience in about 5 days, so I have to acknowledge it.

And that's it, ladies and gents. in 2 hours I'll be on my way home, for 4 months of r+r, photos, bicycles and camp. I'll not be sitting at this desk, staring at the monitor aimlessly for hours any more, ever again (i swear!), however i wouldn't have wanted it any other way this year. Everything happens for a reason, here's to next year being just as amazing as this one was.

oh, gar got drunk last night, haha.